Head Light

Clay Hurtubise

This is going to hurt”, Alan said as he lowered the needle to my nipple.

Just do it

Yeeeow

You don’t look gay; I was told by other gay men. Well, a nipple ring will fix that I thought. When I told my friend, he said he does piercings.

One day, shortly afterwards, I was shopping for groceries.

Dear, could you reach on the top shelf for me” An old lady asked.

My t-shirt was snug but not tight. As I reached up, the t-shirt rubbed against the ring. It was unexpectantly titillating. Oooh.

Would you like another”, I asked.

Unfortunately, that was all she needed.

I used to love body surfing. With my new shiny ring I went to catch a few waves. Things were going swell. Then I caught a monster wave. It pushed me to the ocean floor. Rubbing against the sandy floor was the opposite of reaching for the top shelf. No oooh, rather an owww.

At a party, someone asked to see the ring, so I took my t-shirt off. The woman next to me looked at it.

I have one just like it”, she said. She then took her t-shirt off.

Leave it to my friend to have a small chain with clamps on either end. He hooked ring to ring. Gawd, I wish I had a copy of that picture.

Near my house was a boulevard that encircled a small bay. It was summer, so I was running shirtless. Most people didn’t react to the ring; they were getting more common. Then I was approaching two old ladies. I saw one jab the other. As I got closer, I thought, “my eyes are up here”. As I went to pass, one pointed and yelled out,

Oh my

The next time I ran the boulevard, it was old lady free. There was, however, a camera crew. They were doing a television piece about the running path, which had just been upgraded. They motioned for me to stop. That night I watched the clip. The cameraman had zoomed out just enough so that my ring was in view. Do I look gay now? Television answered that question.

Renovations at my old Queen Ann Victorian were slow. The walls had lathe and plaster construction. This meant that a lot of small boards were nailed to the studs, then covered in plaster. When the boards were pulled off, the nails remained. Avoiding the extra dozen steps to go around the wall, I turned sideways to go in between the studs. A nail head pierced my t-shirt and caught my ring. It’s said neighbors on the next street heard me.

That was the end of the ring.

You’d think I’d learned a lesson. I’m a slow learner. My next piercing was a Prince Albert, a ring piercing through the tip of urethra of the penis through the underside.